FEATURE — The new year comes with fresh opportunities for change. Whether we are 5 or 95, to optimize our overall happiness and peace, we can all use a little improvement in more than one area of our lives. So when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, where should we start?
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Physical and mental health experts around the world continue to pump out podcasts that emphasize good health. If I understand it right, to be at our best, we should exercise regularly, eat more greens and alkaline foods, making sure our sleep schedules contain the hours between 9 p.m. and 3 a.m., turn off bright lights after dusk, eat more protein (making sure we include lots of plant protein), be authentic and vulnerable wherever we show up, take the right supplements for brain balance, listen to 20 minutes of classical music a day, fast, do yoga to lower anxiety, practice meditation and mindfulness, journal, stretch, practice being creative and regularly spend time outdoors, just to get the list started.
Then there are all of the interpersonal areas in which we want to improve: be a better partner or friend, be a better parent, get that promotion at work, become a better listener, become a better public speaker.
And then there’s the other list we’ve got to tackle: our kill list. This might be made up of habits we would like to quit, such as smoking, drinking, eating excessive sugar or ending addictive internet habits.
With the idea that all of these changes are important for a happy, balanced life, it can be tempting to want to tackle it all at once, biting off more than we can chew. It might feel good to write down five New Year’s resolutions, but changing our habits consciously is a process best approached at a slow and steady pace.
It’s a great thing to be ambitious, but how you approach your resolutions will make all of the difference about whether or not you will actually make a permanent change.
Go ahead and write down all five changes you’d like to make, but please don’t make the mistake of beginning to work on all five at once unless you are already a master resolution keeper who can defy research!
I see so many people in my office who feel discouraged about their inability to make changes in multiple areas of their life. Several studies conducted over the last decade have revealed that trying to do it all at once is usually a formula that yields two steps forward and two steps back.
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Bite off each resolution one at a time, and build consistency and confidence with each one. Start with just one resolution on your list, and do it until you do it well. I recommend that the first item is either a goal you feel fairly confident you can reach or one that excites you.
Don’t make your first goal the biggest or the most tedious one on your list. For example, if you typically hit the sheets at 2 a.m., don’t make “going to bed at 9 p.m.” your first actionable item. Choose something from your list you can readily accomplish or something which makes you feel excited to think about. Taking care of the most manageable goal will likely result in success, which results in dopamine in the brain.
Before you begin, make sure you have a plan for success. Plan how and when you will put regular effort into developing your new habit. Do it each planned day for three weeks. If you forget, be kind to yourself, and pick it up again. Keep at it until you can do it for three weeks consistently.
For best results, do not begin your second resolution before you conquer your first. Do not pass go, do not collect $200! When all of the evidence indicates that your first goal is becoming a manageable habit, you have a green flag to start working on item No. 2.
Then, start with your second resolution, and repeat.
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Habits are best developed by layering them one after another. This is how the human mind best holds onto change. Once you get on a roll with those initial habits, let the momentum move you forward to reach each of your goals for the year.
If you are struggling to get a habit to take hold for the three-week time period (or even a three-day time period), you likely have a subconscious block driving you one way, even though your conscious mind desperately wants success!
If this is happening to you, hypnotherapy is a great solution to get to the root of the problem and clear out any old belief systems or traumas that may be keeping you stuck in place. Hypnotherapy can help your brain create new neural pathways so that your mind works for your success and you have more control.
Remember, New Year’s resolutions are best when we think of setting them into place during the first half of the year and cementing them into place during the last half. A year from now, I hope you can look back, feel accomplished and be motivated to level up again.
Written by ERIN DEL TORO, Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist, ACHE.
This article was originally published in the January/February 2024 issue of St. George Health and Wellness magazine.
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